The Adventures of J-Lew Kitty - The Kitty Updates!
Hello you crazy cats, it’s me again your favourite feline friend, J-Lew Kitty. It’s been a long old winter, cold days and dark evenings but as per and I have been hibernating, because cats need 16 hours sleep a day. I have been on many kitty adventures and shall regale you with tabby tales…
Before I begin, I have conformed to society and started my own Facebook page. It amazing because I’m amazing, make sure you go and like the page!
So I decided to become a Fashion Stylist and release a book detailing all my fashion secrets….
1) Big non-prescription glasses that are purely for show.
2) Pink bow placed at a jaunty angle…obvs!
As well as giving the masses these style essentials (you are welcome) this book is just the stepping stone in me becoming a global superstar!!
P.s here’s another freebie, do not be afraid of wearing pink. Its your friend, embrace it like a slap to your face.
Of course all this finding stardom is hungry work, so I had to go a-hunting!!! I want to say ‘poor bird’ but really, this bird was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bye Bye birdie!
Having brought out a fashion book the next logical step is….merchandise. Cue, Kitty socks!!!
Come on, you want my face on your feet. Just admit it!
Now you can see my cute face on your feet any time, for the reasonable price of £3.99 at all good retailers near you!!!…maybe but probably not.
Of course my vision is bigger than socks!! And footwear in general, so my adoring public I bring to you….Make your own kitty; now you can have your own life like J-Lew Kitty in your own home by simply following complicated, difficult, nonsensical instructions.
Can you imagine what it is like to have your very own J-Lew Kitty?? Actually, maybe I don’t want to know…
Also, we celebrated Wendy’s 27th Birthday and I baked a cake!
Cool eh? I am not narcissistic at all.. not one bit.
A famous Kitty cannot be on their own, they need a fabulous, glamorous friend to share their fortune with. So introducing to you…..KISS KITTY!!! Kiss and J-Lew are the bestest of friends and go on many crazy adventures. At last Kiss Kitty has given me permission to share our stories right here…. I just wish Kiss Kitty would stop sticking his tongue out at me.. it freaks me out a bit. No Kitty wants to be tongued at!
Stay tuned for the hilarity to come.
Peace out and until then, stay hipster.